Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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