sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
