Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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