It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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