I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize