you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
