She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
