You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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