I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
