So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
