Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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