I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
