Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
