Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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