Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
