i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
