i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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