dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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