Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
