So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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