But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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