im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
