what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
