dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
