i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
40s are totally the cure
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
