Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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