I CAN MOONWALK!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
