I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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