Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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