white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
