What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
