Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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