I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize