No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
