my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
