No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
