dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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