you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
