My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
