If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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