Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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