his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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