i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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