Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
