Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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