In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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