from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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