Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
too bad you live with your parents still
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she peed on how many people?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
