Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
