I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
