Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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