I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
