I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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