take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
