3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
