u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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