Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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