I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
