What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
