I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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