how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
