theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
