I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize