Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
