I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
