dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
