yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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