do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize