Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize