How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
