if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
