dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
