So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
