just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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