i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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