allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
